Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - L. Da Vinci

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Why do men lie??

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.” The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, “Yes.” The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?” “Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!” The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked. “Yes,” cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!” The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

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A couple of beers

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When his class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed “Now” it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes”. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. “Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The “golf balls ” are the important things–your family, your health, your friends, your favorite passions–things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The “pebbles” are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The “sand” is everything else “the small stuff”. If you put the sand into the jar first, he continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Take time to get medical checkups. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.”

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Letter written by a Sardarni to her son, staying in a hostel

Dear Gurmeet,

I am in a well here and hoping you in the same well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldn’t have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address Plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since. The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. By the way I took bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his fathers last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love
Mom.

P.S : Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized,I had already sealed off this letter.

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Pimp my plane - Air New Zealand

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Pimp my Plane Screenshot

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